Trump-backed gubernatorial candidate Mark Robinson reportedly owes Girl Scouts money, was a regular customer at a porn store

If you are a political consultant and your candidate has already said that the film Black Panther was made by “an agnostic Jew” and the Holocaust was “nonsense,” this is one of those headlines you don’t really want to read on your first Thorazine of the morning. From NJ.com:

This Trump candidate, who is believed to be a regular customer of a porn shop, also scammed Girl Scouts out of $3,000 worth of cookies

Oops. Mark Robinson, who is already lieutenant governor of North Carolina, oddly enough, is more than just the latest in a growing line of total lunatics nominated by the Republican Party, which began with the likes of Christine O’Donnell of Delaware and Sharron Angle of Nevada and continues with the likes of Dr. Oz and Herschel Walker. Now we’re hearing from some low-level employees of the adult entertainment industry that Robinson used to be a valued customer.

In a report released Tuesday, five men who worked at or visited two 24-hour video porn shops in Greensboro—Gents Video & News and I-40 Video & News—told the North Carolina Assembly that Robinson often visited the shops after working at a nearby pizza parlor. Louis Money, a former employee who insisted he had no political agenda, said Robinson often bought two or more “previews,” which consisted of a viewing in a private booth, over the course of an evening. He also bought “hundreds” of bootleg porn videos that Money sold, he said. Most were “just straight American porn,” he said.

First of all, a man named Lou Money is pretty much doomed from birth to have a career in the adult entertainment industry. Secondly, is everything in this country so politicized that your porn salesman can rat you out? Isn’t there a privilege issue here?

“And I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t like good old American porn,” Money said. “He should be judged on everything else, but he shouldn’t be judged on this.” Although Robinson has called for books with LGBTQ references to be banned, Money said Robinson had a different opinion years ago: “I know he may have a problem with gays, but I don’t think he has a problem with lesbians,” Money said.

Lou, I think I can speak for the Robinson campaign when I say, Stop helping, man. The campaign has done its own denial. That’s not the case with the Girl Scout cookie scandal, where the campaign just said no. From Notesfromthechalkboard.com:

According to public documents obtained from the Guilford County District Court, the wife of Republican gubernatorial candidate Mark Robinson was sued by the Tarheel Triad Girl Scouts in 2003 over “money owed” in Guilford County small claims court, and the Girl Scouts won.

In September 2003, the Girl Scouts filed a lawsuit against Yolanda Hill over a bogus check for $2,956.03. The case was heard the following month, and court records show that no one was present on behalf of the defendant. The magistrate ruled in favor of the Girl Scouts and added costs and damages as allowed by the state’s bounced check law, totaling $3,486.03.

I hope this episode is handled within the bounds of the law, because in my experience, you don’t take revenge on the Cookie Moms lightly. They are ruthless. You can’t negotiate with them. You can’t reason with them. They feel no pity, remorse, or fear! And they absolutely will not stop. Thin Mints or death! Allons, children!