These female rabbis have ideas about how their profession – and Jewish culture – is depicted on ‘Nobody Wants This’

CNN
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While it’s nothing new for Netflix to capture the zeitgeist with an original series, the vibe of ‘Nobody Wants This’ – a sweet and hearty hipster rom-com set in Los Angeles – is a far cry from the genre trappings of creepy titles like ‘ Squid Game’. ‘ and ‘Stranger Things’.

However, the discourse surrounding this hit series, starring Adam Brody and Kristen Bell as a new couple navigating friends, family and religion, has been swift and ubiquitous, with people sharing their views on its depictions of Jewish women, conversion and ‘shiksas ‘ shared on the show.

A quick catch up, in case you somehow missed the (currently) no. 1 show on the streamer (which was also confirmed this week to be getting a second season) – Bell plays Joanne, a sex-forward podcaster with no specific religious beliefs who falls in love with Brody’s Noah, a “hot rabbi” (the words of the show ) who is an important figure in his progressive community and comes from a sort of traditional Jewish family. The pair’s undeniable chemistry soon causes friction in their respective circles, including Joanne’s acerbic sister Morgan (Justine Lupe) and Noah’s brother Sasha (Timothy Simons), sister-in-law Esther (Jackie Tohn) – who remains best friends with Noah’s heartbroken ex. – and mother Bina (Tovah Feldshuh).

In the pilot episode, Joanne decides to visit Noah at his temple, where he is inundated with congregants who hound him with questions and requests to put their daughters up for him now that he is no longer dating his ex Rebecca (Emily Arlook). At the very last moment, several spectators in the synagogue – including veteran actor Feldshuh – look surprised as Noah warmly greets Joanne. When Esther asks Bina van Feldshuh who her son is talking to, she simply answers, “A shiksa” (a somewhat derogatory term for a non-Jewish woman, especially in a relationship with a Jewish partner), closing the show .

That moment, along with others, sparked backlash over the way certain Jewish themes and tropes were handled in the series. To Rabbi Amanda Greene, a senior rabbi at Chicago Sinai Reform Congregation in Chicago, some of it — even the parts that might have seemed a bit extreme — rang quite true.

“There’s a word ‘yenta’, right?” Greene said with a laugh during a recent interview with CNN. “Is that the best of who we are? Maybe not. But is that the reality of who some of us are? Maybe.”

She also reminded that it is just a TV show made for entertainment.

“I imagine the same would be true if you were to interview people from ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding,’ right? That’s a kind of over-exaggeration of the personalities.”

And while Rabbi Adina Allen, a nondenominational rabbi who founded the nonprofit Jewish Studio Project, acknowledged that some Jewish female characters in the comedy were depicted “as manipulative, controlling, callous, cliquey,” she noted that they were not the the only ones cast in a sometimes not-so-flattering light.

“To be honest, the non-Jewish women don’t look that good either,” she said. “The show seems to portray them as bland, unfocused, self-centered and superficial. And at the same time I liked all women. For example, Esther, the epitome of the stereotypical Jewish woman, is controlling and mean, but she is also loyal and loving.”

Rabbi Greene also pointed out that not all images of Jewish women were immediately demeaning or cartoonish.

‘I think the female rabbi in the camp is great. I think that’s a good representation. She hugs Joanne. She’s an interesting character,” she shared, referencing a hilarious episode later in the season in which Noah introduces Joanne to a fellow rabbi, charmingly played by Leslie Grossman.

“Maybe that’s what’s great about the show, there are so many interesting characters,” Greene added, defending Esther’s character “because she’s meant to be hated, but also, like your best friend’s ex -fiancé was… She is (Esther) also a human being!”

Other moments felt quite authentic to both real rabbis, which they said felt refreshing.

“When I first started in Sinai, there were a lot of people trying to set me up,” Greene said. “There is some truth in the fact that the congregation wants to know what is going on in the rabbi’s personal life,” she added.

Rabbi Allen said that the show “took home how invasive it can feel, especially to be a pulpit rabbi, and especially a young, single pulpit rabbi (from what I know from my friends’ experiences),” adding: “in the synagogue scene when all the women crowded around him to introduce their daughters, that felt real.”

Both Allen and Greene viewed Brody’s Noah as a relatable character on a spiritual path, as opposed to a sanctimonious figurehead or any other number of preconceived portraits of what a rabbi could be.

“He was a person, a person in a bar (or at a party) who maybe didn’t look like the rabbi that Joanne thought a rabbi should look like,” Greene said. “Rabbis look like people. We are people, we are people and I think sometimes people assume or expect that a rabbi will look a certain way, act a certain way, only talk about Torah, only keep Kosher, only wear a yarmulke everywhere, just wear a tallit (prayer shawl), just for whatever the ‘one’ may be, but we are human and I appreciated that level of display from the rabbi.”

A scene later in the series where Noah makes Shabbat in a bar is something Greene can also relate to, having experienced something similar herself. “When I first moved to Chicago, I tried to do Shabbat at a bar for young professionals,” she recalls.

“Noah is cool,” Allen noted. “(He) lives in the world, goes to parties, is funny, has fashionable clothes (minus the basketball gear), plays sports, has friends and a social life. That all felt really good to see on TV.

As the first season of ‘Nobody Wants This’ continues, Noah and Joanne imagine a possible future together. It quickly becomes clear, as stated in the show, that if Noah were to ever become head rabbi of his congregation, having a non-Jewish partner would prove problematic for him. That brings with it the prospect of conversion for Joanne, something she struggles with at the end of the season. Noah, in turn, also struggles with the prospect of having to choose between advancing in his rabbinic career or pursuing a deeper commitment to Joanne, even if she is unwilling to convert.

Rabbi Greene had conflicting feelings about the ending and hopes that Noah’s overly simple choice is just a setup for the continuation of the story in the next season.

“I loved the show, I hated the ending. I think it’s a false dichotomy,” she said. “My hope is that season two will unfold in a different way and he won’t have to choose between personal and professional.”

“Of course there are times when you have to choose things like that, but I prefer both/and, so my prediction, and maybe it’s just hope, is that in season two he’ll somehow get through both can navigate… Maybe it’s just that cliffhanger for the next season.