Shannon and Alexis’ feud reaches epic heights

Alexis Bellino is one of God’s gifts to the universe, despite the cast The Real Housewives of Orange County are desperate to give her back. Real, Jesus Jars has captivated audiences with her unstoppable ability to ruin a comeback and ignite herself in ever greater glory.

The Orange Province reunion episodes remain a top coda to a season that proves the Housewives franchise is still as strong as ever. It’s the kind of reunion that’s nothing but a cacophony of chaos, the perfect white noise for a nap on the couch.

It’s the perfect mix of salty and sweet, as Jenn finally sheds her impenetrable skin and takes a seat on the judge’s bench, Katie faces the wrath of a thousand suns, and Shannon finds her voice just in time to wipe out Alexis. The sweet part? Well, what we can all watch.

Jenn’s wide-eyed ignorance is somehow the most effective antidote to the stinky Heather/Tamra duo yet. You can’t burst her love bubble with facts, nor can you make Jenn look stupid. She will smile during life’s worst moments and post a little millennial song on her Instagram, and it will be a good day.

That’s why Heather’s icy concern for Jenn doesn’t land. Jenn isn’t even worried about herself – and she has the support of Shannon, a woman who knows a thing or two about how to act for the worst men imaginable, and Katie, who is apparently a pathological liar.

Jenn stumbles into a reunion success by sheer coincidence. Tamra is neutralized thanks to a little sloppiness Watch what’s happening live accusation against Ryan calling her a “cyst and died”, and her scattered attacks have made her completely unreliable.

Sure, Ryan has called Eddie gay and claimed Tamra is in a lavender marriage, and yes, he’s clearly shady at best and criminally liable at worst (it is said… do not send me a cease and desist order). But now he has a small army of social media warriors who hate Tamra more than they love the uncomfortable truth, and he’s attached to the fan favorite Housewife.

In her defense, Tamra gives in to Jenn’s story, allowing Malibu Barbie to silence her again and again. Suddenly rumors spread that Eddie is sleeping in the casita and all Tamra can do is shrug. She has lost and retreated, and the Tamra that emerges will either be the most hellish demon in existence, or she will be small again, baptized and highly prized.

It’s so bad for her that Tamra reveals she will start therapy the next day. We also know how that first session went. It’s the infamous session that led to Tamra coming out as autistic, but which she retracted when she learned you can’t actually get a diagnosis from a 40-minute Zoom call, making fans hate her even more. Next season she should team up with Vicki Gunvalson’s #KillAllCancer. I think this can finally win the fans back!

Meanwhile, Jenn puts Heather on the ropes. Calling someone a “historical friend” is such a verbiage for Heather that it’s funny that she even denies it. She can be proud that her lexicon is so well studied that it is clear whether someone is quoting her correctly or not, even if it gets her into trouble. And that example is proof positive of what we already know: that Tamra and Heather are useful allies, not real friends. Of course, that goes for Jenn and Katie too… but that’s a story for another day.

I mean, is Heather looking at the price tag on Jenn’s Neiman’s dress a little mean? Certainly. But Heather has every right to gossip on a show about gossip, and about Jenn at that should being raked over the coals for reckless spending during a financial crisis. Katie almost makes things worse for Jenn by trying to turn the situation on Heather. Seriously, take the loss ladies. You have already achieved so many victories. If there was ever reason to believe that the winning team will collapse soon, look no further.

Katie’s whole look is quite interesting. She emerged from the reunion with essentially one friend and a horde of enemies, which is not at all what I expected from watching the season itself. The babysitter drama was a bad way to end the newbie season, as Katie and her daughter Kaili are now being portrayed as liars, with little evidence to the contrary.

It’s been a while since we had one RHOC kid that is Brianna Gunvalson playing herself in the drama, so keep up the good work, Kaili. Post another TikTok about your mom’s weird coworkers. Did you hear that? Gina allegedly pushed Travis down the stairs? Make a video about that!

But considering how baffled the entire cast is over Kaili’s TikTok, things aren’t looking good for Katie’s future. They would just go crazy if they had to deal with the New Jersey kids, which, to be honest, is the rational response to spending time with literally anyone not named Milania Giudice.

Finally, Alexis emerges in a dress that’s tackier than the one she wore to the “tasteless” themed finale party to set the record straight after a season of rumors and nastiness. Although she was coached backstage by Tamra not to act as John’s mouthpiece, Alexis simply doesn’t know any different. After all, she was made from his rib. Perhaps her primitive worldviews are why she dressed like a glamorous caveman.

Before being put in the oven and set to 450, Alexis is thrown a bone by Andy. She’s finally able to discuss how her son coming out as transgender helped her grow in acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community, and how that blossomed her friendship with Heather. This season only had room for villain Alexis, and her one-note performance made that glaringly easy, but in turn, her bonds with Heather were painted in broad strokes throughout the year. It’s almost surprising to hear that they’re super close, when we’ve never seen that before. Maybe we never will.

Once the conversation shifts to Shannon vs. Alexis, it’s game over for Jesus Jugs. Once she touts the phrase “strange relationship with the truth,” Alexis lights a fire in Shannon that drives the episode home. The two resume the Jim Bellino trial to disastrous effect, burying Alexis in her own incompetence.

And yet, Shannon Beador’s entering the reunion with a double belief in evil is exactly the kind of enthusiasm that propelled this season to iconic status. She is a fire starter who elevates everyone in her presence through sheer annoyance. The argument over Alexis’ replacement with Shannon and Alexis’ return as a mere “friend” is riveting, and there’s such a rush to see Shannon win a war of words.

‘I took over your job ten years ago. I’m still here,” is simply the joke of the century. Alexis may have stolen Shannon’s boyfriend, but Shannon stole her job – and it still hurts ten years later. The show robbed us of a real 1-on-1 post-premiere that covered up the fact that Shannon vs. Alexis is the best OC feud in years. Deprive us no further, when an Alexis wedding season could bless us with an even higher peak for the revived Orange Province.

I’m well aware that Alexis has likely thwarted her return, but next week she has one last chance to make or break her future. It’s certainly a more attractive prospect than Gina’s relationship, and God knows her orange is enshrined in the constitution at this point.