Row Z: The big ticket scam, Kane chasing trophies – and will no one think of the planners?

Welcome to the third edition of Row Z, our weekly column about The Athletics to highlight the crazy side of the game.

From clubs to managers, from players to organisations: every Friday we bring you the absurdities, the greed, the contradictions, the absurdities and the strangeness of the game we all love…

The new format for this year’s Carabao Cup, which is designed to make things easier for clubs playing in European competition, has got off to an excellent start.

The draw for the third round was designed to prevent English teams from the Champions League and Europa League from playing each other.

Manchester City were playing a home game against Watford, but will be unable to play that game on Wednesday 25 September because Manchester United are playing at home to FC Twente that evening (and it is not feasible for local government and public transport to have both Manchester clubs playing in the same city at the same time).

Thursday 26 September was also not possible, as City travel to Newcastle two days later for an away match kick-off at 12.30pm.

The best-case scenario is therefore for the match to be played on Tuesday 24 September, just two days after City play one of the biggest games of the season at home to Arsenal (Sunday 22 September, 4.30pm).

Manchester City’s Bernardo Silva takes a breather with Erling Haaland (Charlotte Wilson/Offside/Offside via Getty Images)

How did it get to this point? Well, UEFA has expanded the Champions League group stage to eight games, so the number of free midweeks is minimal.

UEFA does care about the well-being of the players. No, wait, sorry. Their president Aleksander Ceferin told Gazzetta dello Sport two years ago: “It’s easy to attack FIFA and UEFA, but it’s simple. If you play less, you get less money.

“The ones who should be complaining are the factory workers who get €1,000 (£843; $1,110) a month.” Easy to say when you earn £2.28 million a year.

Never mind, FIFA is all about it. A mission statement on their website reads: “Of primary importance in the present and future of football is the protection of the health and welfare of players.

“The proposed calendar overhaul could include mandatory rest and preparation periods, resulting in fewer matches, less travel and less time away from clubs and families.”

And FIFA: let’s expand the Club World Cup to 32 teams and hold it in the US in July, after a grueling season.

That means City, who started the season on August 10 in the Community Shield, will play a total of 75 games in all competitions in the 2024-25 season.

If you’re a regular international like Portugal’s Bernardo Silva, you have 85 games in your diary before the Club World Cup ends on July 13. That’s one game every four days.

Is it even worth calling it a season? How about just Football: Infinity? Someone stop it.

GALLING DEEPER

Haaland and Salah form shows benefit of ‘good rest’ – FIFPro

While Oasis ripped off their fans for £350 to stand on a pitch/stadium for three hours in Manchester/Cardiff/London etc, it’s important to remember that Premier League clubs are just as keen to rip you off.

This week’s news…

GALLING DEEPER

High ticket prices, little choice: the Premier League time bomb

You are Harry Kane and you have moved to Bayern Munich to end your long wait for a silverware. But despite your incredible efforts, with 44 goals in all competitions, you find yourself in the incredibly unfortunate position of your team failing to win a trophy for the first time in 12 years.

But the 36 goals you scored in the Bundesliga at least entitle you to a trophy of your own. That’s small consolation if you miss out on the club cup.

Although it would be very annoying if the trophy looked like an exact copy of Arsenal’s club crest.

Harry Kane receives Bundesliga top scorer award for the past season photo.twitter.com/QYGsOde81D

— Bayern & Germany (@iMiaSanMia) September 1, 2024

Keep going, Harry.

A perfectly normal transfer window for Chelsea has ended in a fairly normal manner as Brazilian winger Angelo Gabriel, who they signed from Santos for £13million last summer and immediately sent on loan to sister club Strasbourg, has now left for Saudi Pro League club Al Nassr for £19.1million.

Great career of Angelo Gabriel.

Angelo Gabriel trains with Chelsea in Atlanta, Georgia (Darren Walsh/Chelsea FC via Getty Images)

Mrs Ten Hag: “Erik, I know you’ve been busy with the children’s sports day, but have you done all the housework I asked you to do?”

Erik ten Hag: “What do you mean? Tell me, explain what mistakes I made?”

Mrs Ten Hag: “You haven’t put the bins out, there are dishes in the sink, the electricity bill needs to be paid…”

Erik ten Hag: “I don’t think that’s important when you look at the cups I won at the father races on the sports day. I beat big opponents, like Simon from next door, at the egg and spoon race. I feel bad for you.”

Mrs Ten Hag: “With all due respect, you did brilliantly against Simon, but you nearly lost to the overweight Dave in the sack race. Let’s take a realistic look at what happened.”

Erik ten Hag: “I think that after Simon from next door, I won the most cups on sports day, so I feel very sorry for you.”

Mrs. Ten Hag: “Good night Erik.”

GALLING DEEPER

Ten Hag’s statement about the ‘two trophies’ is true, but it is not the only measure of progress

Everton will play at Goodison Park for the last time this season and the social media team came up with the fun idea of ​​asking fans to share photos to celebrate the final campaign at the historic stadium.

But they rather innocently forgot that, well, this is Everton.

Here are the top three so far.

https://t.co/UP0mls0AjZ photo.twitter.com/ag0ZQepUZf

— Adam (@mcnultyadamm) August 31, 2024

https://t.co/sgCrZYw8aq photo.twitter.com/qKKjrdXndR

— Mr. Robot (@bittertoffee) September 1, 2024

https://t.co/oD2IlDynZe photo.twitter.com/VFIlwZl6Ht

— 𝗣𝗘𝗗 🇪🇺 (@PED7) September 1, 2024

GALLING DEEPER

What makes Everton the Premier League’s most dismal club

And we end in Scotland, where Moses Ebiye scored the winning goal for Motherwell in the 94th minute, understandably drawing a jubilant reaction from the club’s commentator.

The St Johnstone fans sitting nearby were not so keen on the noisy festivities, with one guy even calmly and reasonably threatening to ram the commentator’s microphone, despite the fact that there was no sunlight.

Nice to see the St Johnstone fans around the Motherwell TV Commentator taking the late goal well 😬. photo.twitter.com/tktMD66TiH

— camer0n_mcd 𝕏 (@camer0n_mcd) September 1, 2024

(Top photo: Justin Setterfield/Getty Images)