Olympic failure Raygun now number one breakdancer

The worst breakdancer At the Olympics, Raygun—who scored zero on all counts—is now officially number one in the world. And before you could finish your spit take, the World DanceSport Federation—who this week named Dr. Rachael Gunn the best B-girl on the planet—knew what you were thinking and was preparing a statement in your defense.

The federation explained on Tuesday that the score was based on “the four best performances of each athlete in the past 12 months” And that the Olympic Games and the Olympic qualifications do not count. The New York Times points out that there were not that many events that were not related to the Olympic Games.

So all the B-girls who popped, locked and flipped in preparation for Paris would have had to compete in qualifying events to maintain their status. “By the end of the Olympics, many of the competition results that were included in the rankings had expired, leading to the current situation where many athletes only have one competition result that contributes to their ranking,” the mea culpa reads.

So while Raygun hopped around Paris like a kangaroo and faced “devastating” social media scorn and a merciless Rachel Dratch impersonation in the weeks that followed, she did pretty well at an official meet when other breakers were gunning for gold. “The recent rankings of B-Girl Raygun and B-Girl Riko have drawn particular attention,” the federation explained. “Both athletes earned 1,000 points in their respective events: B-Girl Raygun placed first at the Oceania Continental Championships, October 2023… (and) B-Girl Riko placed first at the Breaking for Gold World Series in Hong Kong, December 2023.”

Additionally, some obscure fine print in the WDSF Breaking Rules and Regulations Manual (article 5.1.1 for those of you with a copy handy) gave Raygun an edge over Riko, even though their scores were tied.

“The WDSF confirms that the rankings will change after the above 12-month points expire and when the next WDSF Breaking for Gold World Series is held in Shanghai in October 2024,” it said. The statement also provides an email address for anyone (in this case, everyone) with questions.

Since Raygun’s points expire next month, she’ll have to jump a little higher to get back on top next time.