Jimmy Kimmel Jokes that the Election is 18 Days Away and We’re ’95 Days Away from Our Next Uprising’

Jimmy Kimmel kicked off Thursday’s episode of “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” with a rather somber joke. “We are now 18 days away from the election,” he said, “and 95 days away from our next uprising.”

You probably get the joke, but in case you forgot, he’s talking about how Donald Trump tried to overthrow the government after losing the 2020 election. But Kimmel was less focused on the threat of another attempt to override the will of voters and more on how unpleasant the final days of election season can be. Mainly thanks to the communication of the candidate he called “Con Juan” (Trump, of course).

“The window to reach voters is closing and the texts and emails asking for money are pouring in. For reasons I can’t even fathom, the race is very close. The pollsters are calling it a toss-up, as in, “I’m about to throw up my lunch this election already,” he continued.

“But Trump has a commanding lead in the pesky email department. That’s for sure. According to the New York Times, the Trump campaign has sent more than 7,400 emails asking for money since he entered the race in November 2022. That’s about eleven emails a day for almost two years,” Kimmel continued.

“You know, these emails often have subject lines like ‘Action Required’ or ‘Confirm Payment Information!’ Basically the same tactics hackers use to steal your grandma’s social security number,” the comedian noted. “But sometimes he makes the pot with an exciting offer.”

Kimmel then discussed how he is on Trump’s mailing list and had recently received an email promising an invitation to meet Trump at his Florida resort by entering a contest. And of course, Kimmel then had to explain how to enter the contest by donating to the Trump campaign.

But after laying out some extremely intense details about these emails, Kimmel said, “I don’t know. Maybe I’m too cynical.”

“Maybe, maybe at Thanksgiving dinner, after the grace, Trump tells his family to shut up and reads the biggest, prettiest Thanksgiving card, filled with the names of five thousand people who have each donated eleven hard-earned dollars and Thank God. to each and every one of them,” Kimmel said, clearly sarcastically.

Watch the entire monologue below:

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