Ireland’s dangerous precedent and promotion for England | Football

O IRELAND

Well, that was close. Despite all the media fuss about mass withdrawals and the inexplicable no-show of a new manager who – Football Daily checks the notes – won’t start work until the new year, England somehow stumbled over the line to get promoted back to the top. the highest level of European football’s equivalent of the old quiz show Turnabout. A lunchtime show of such Byzantine complexity that even the host has said he didn’t understand the lines still drew a large audience because… well, it was on. And so it was that Wembley was packed to the rafters on Sunday for a match that was labeled a ‘must-win’ for England, even though a significant proportion of those in attendance had no idea why. Look, it was something to do.

Using similar tactics as an idiot misleadingly arguing with someone much smarter than them in the realm of a social media abomination, Ireland set out their position early on by trying to drag England down to their level and then beat them to the punch with their significantly more extensive experience at not being very good. in football. And it worked to an extent, especially the one early in the second half, when Harry Kane’s preternaturally accurate, game-changing pass from the touchline to Jude Bellingham reduced them to ten men and earned England a penalty, which the captain then scored. Although the Irish rightly felt aggrieved at being denied a clear penalty in the first half, their subsequent capitulation made the post-match mood more one of shame, with captain Nathan Collins even going so far as to say sorry for the competition. display.

“First of all, it’s probably an apology from all the guys for that second half,” he ranted. “That’s nowhere near the standard we should be. Obviously circumstances change things, but we know that as a group we are a lot better than that and that is not an issue.’ As Irish as Guinness, leprechauns and a jig dancing while holding our arms stiffly at our sides in a way that only a referee or his video assistant would consider natural, this edition of Football Daily thinks Collins is entering dangerous territory by to offer an apology for the poor performance, not least because it sets a dangerous and potentially repetitive precedent given most of Ireland’s performance in recent years. However, we do take issue with his claim that the boys in green are “a lot better than that,” because virtually all available evidence suggests that nothing could be further from the truth.

And what about England? After a largely successful six-match reign in which he achieved his goal of promotion and blooded eight new players, including Roy Keane’s future son-in-law, the interim manager will hand over a team in excellent form to Thomas Tuchel. , a mercenary who has worked fifteen matches with one specific goal in mind. While the German may not have been in England this past week, he could hardly have missed the distinct sound of the media’s pens being sharpened before he has even taken up his new role. “Hopefully I’ll meet Thomas and present what we think and what we’ve found,” Carsley raved about the file he plans to leave in Tuchel’s locker. “I look forward to meeting him in the coming weeks.” Whether Tuchel will be as excited about hearing the excruciating details of how England won their episode of Turnabout is anyone’s guess.

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QUOTE OF THE DAY

“I’m absolutely devastated so I’m going to try to clean up the area. There is a cemetery somewhere nearby. Honestly, I’m not kidding. I think it’s very close to an old cemetery so I’ll get my wife to come up and say sorry to all these people and hopefully we’ll have a bit more luck” – Swindon Town boss Ian Holloway may have had too much at Pet Sematary, but with his team 22nd in League Two, he has decided it is time for action when it comes to their ‘haunted’ training ground. At least he’s stopped following in Barry Fry’s, er, footsteps. “I don’t want to do what he did. I think he had to pee on the corners of his field, but I’m going to get my wife to come with her wise.”

Picture the scene: mighty Rome struggling to recapture its former glory, beset by internal power struggles as leader after leader fails or is brought down from within, until eventually everyone turns to an old man on the fringes named Claudio…. Sorry, Claudius. History doesn’t repeat itself, does it? – Mark McFadden.

Seeing Andy Morrison’s email (Friday’s Football Daily letters), which referred to Glenn Hoddle and ‘put the balls in the right place’, brought back unpleasant, indelible memories of the 2014 World Cup in Brazil. Perhaps watching ITV’s coverage was punishment for sins in a past life” – Ed Taylor.

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