I had an accident when I was a child. My parents should have done it differently.

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Dear Pay Dirt,

Just over thirty years ago, when I was a few months shy of my tenth birthday, I suffered a horrific and near-fatal accident at my public elementary school. It was also preventable. Some exposed wires on a light pole at our playground were poorly covered, causing them to come loose and me accidentally touching them while playing. I got a big shock and lost consciousness, which luckily broke the flow as I fell back. Miraculously, I was doing absolutely fine. After a brief visit to the emergency room, I was sent home for a check-up and have since enjoyed a life of generally excellent health.

My problem involves a decision my parents made at the time, mainly my then 29 year old mother who was the functional parent. Several teachers, including my fourth grade teacher, who was the first to reach me after the accident, recommended suing the school for whatever we could get. They had been warning the administration for months that exactly this would happen, and even after my accident, the plate covering the wires was reapplied with duct tape.

My mother, very young and inexperienced and especially happy that her eldest daughter was still alive, ultimately refused to file a lawsuit. I—an older millennial who has reached middle age with $100,000 in student loans and no hope of buying a house or, let’s face it, retiring—think at least weekly about the huge pile of money that was due at 18. waiting birthday and the comfortable life I should be living. Seriously, why am I not rich? I know I should be grateful to be alive and healthy, but I wish I could have had some input into this life-changing decision. What can I do to stop thinking about this?

—Unbreakable

Best Unbreakable

I’m so sorry this happened to you, especially because it was a preventable incident. But you shouldn’t ignore the good news that you didn’t experience long-term health effects as quickly. If you hold on to that gratitude, you might be able to do a lot of good here.

Of course, if your mother had gone a different route, you might be ultra-rich by now. But do me a favor while I poke some holes in your thinking. First of all, even if your parents had If you sued the school, you don’t know what amount you would have received. You can’t know if that money would have made you rich. Let’s say that, for the sake of your hypothetical situation, your family received a significant amount of money. Who’s to say they would have saved all the money for you and not spent it on your care (as the courts and potential trust allowed)? Your family probably had to deal with a lot of expenses in the years that followed (children are expensive!) and could have potentially dipped into the budget. Additionally, personal injury attorneys typically take a percentage of the settlement money as a fee, which would certainly have cut into the imaginary pie a bit.

Did you ever talk to your mother about the details of the incident? There might be a chance your mother would do that did visit a lawyer and was advised not to pursue the case. Knowing a little more information can give you peace of mind. But ultimately my point is that this version of events you have created is a fantasy, and it does you no good.

There’s no doubt that life is difficult for many of us right now, and many of us millennials feel like we’ve been dealt a bad hand. I understand the resentment you feel. Until I was in my mid-30s, I was very jealous of my peers who could afford to buy houses. I felt at the time that if my mother had not passed away when I was in high school, I might have completed my studies sooner, gotten much further ahead financially, and been on par with the people who achieved these milestones . . But over time, I realized that while I can’t go back and change that tragedy and its ripple effects on my life, I can now do everything in my power to build the life I want. I’m confident you can get through this too with a therapist who can help you find ways to move past this. A mental health professional can help you figure out ways to avoid feeling stuck. Don’t let this hold you back another 30 years.

Dear Pay Dirt,

I don’t consider myself advanced in finance. I have a checking account, a few savings accounts and some retirement investments. I would like to teach my children some financial skills, but I’m not sure where to start. For example, I set aside some money to buy a car for my 16-year-old son. Luckily for him, a relative got him an older car so he doesn’t have to touch the money. Eventually he will have to replace the vehicle, but in the meantime I would like him to make the most of this money. He also has about $2,000 in savings from his job. I’ve advised him to keep at least $1,000 in savings in case he needs to fix his car, but I think this would be a great opportunity for him to experiment with investing. But I have never bought a stock outside of my pension funds. What is the best way for a young person to learn about saving and investing?

– No idea where to start

Dear, No idea where to start,