Former Top Ten comedian nearly breaks neck in scary surf elimination

“It’s not fair!”

Australia is the most isolated continent in the world. It floats in the southern hemisphere, and counts only small island states as neighbors. Small island states and New Zealand, which also happens to be a small island state. It makes some sense that people who live down under have never heard of the culinary delights of Paris.

Yes, the host of the 2024 Olympics is teeming with the most delicious treasures. France in general, and Paris in particular, can be considered the best in concentrated livers, baby cow, duck, both old and young, eggs in crust, oysters on the half shell and coffee. Every street in the City of Light has several kiosks, cafés or full-fledged restaurants where the weary passer-by can stop in and cheer up with a double espresso, americano or cappuccino. The French thankfully turned their noses up at the third-wave coffee movement and served theirs lightly roasted.

Delicious.

I make mine every morning near the Palais Garnier, looking at the statue of Harmony.

Delicious.

But again, this is apparently unknown to Australia, which is sending food and baristas to Paris to feed its athletes during the Games.

Per Delicious.com.au

They say home is where the heart is. And it turns out that’s where the Vegemite is. Despite heading to one of the culinary capitals of the world, Paris, Australian Olympians are getting a little taste of home during their stay in the Olympic Village.

During a press conference on Wednesday, June 5, the Australian Olympic Committee announced the special details that athletes will receive as they compete for gold at the Paris 2024 Games.

Our athletes can enjoy delicious snacks such as Vegemite, Weet-Bix, Four’n’Twenty pies, Milo and a trio of travelling baristas, who will provide them with a cup of coffee and ensure that homesickness is kept at bay.

The Irukandji surf crew, however, is probably furious that there is no mention of Vegemite or three baristas going to “The End of the Road.” Yes, Tahiti in general and Teahupo’o in particular have… poisson cru. Poisson cru for breakfast, poisson cru for lunch, and poisson cru for dinner. Sometimes it’s okay. Never top of the class and infuriating, I would imagine, in Tyler Wright’s camp, because she must be malnourished while battling a host of health issues.

Also Ethan Ewing, whose beautiful figure will undoubtedly suffer.

Please light a candle.