Anton Lienert-Brown reveals the anxiety battle that left him ‘depressed’: Planet Rugby

All Blacks center Anton Lienert-Brown has revealed his ongoing battle with anxiety, which at one point led him to believe he was having a heart attack.

Lienert-Brown, who has won 79 Test caps, made his international debut against Australia in 2016 and will be the All Blacks’ vice-captain when they take on Japan in Yokohama on Saturday.

He has also played more than 100 games for the Chiefs in Super Rugby, but despite his successes as a professional rugby player, he has had to deal with his fears for most of his impressive career.

The 29-year-old revealed that he spoke out about his mental health struggles in an effort to help others.

“It took me a long time to seek help. I should have gotten it much sooner,” he said The F#$%ing news.

‘You have difficulty talking about your feelings’

“I’m like a lot of other Kiwi guys out there. You have trouble talking about your feelings.

“It takes effort to say you need help, and saying you need help makes you feel weak.

“I fought with that for years until I was probably hanging on by a thread.”

Lienert-Brown talked about the severity of his anxiety struggles and the pain he had to endure on a daily basis as a result.

“Anxiety made me depressed and it made everyday life difficult,” he said.

He also revealed that he had sessions with a psychiatrist and was given anti-anxiety medication which he still takes.

“Over the years my anxiety got worse and worse to the point where I was having constant panic attacks every day and it was getting really difficult,” says Leinert-Brown.

‘Stripped’ All Blacks rookie reveals ‘mixed feelings’ ahead of Test debut against Japan

“It would spiral and spiral and spiral to the point where I would have a panic attack… It felt like I was having a heart attack, but I wasn’t.”

He said the attacks were at their worst between the ages of 18 and 21, during the early days of his professional career and as an All Blacks player.

“Sometimes I could be in a team meeting and have one and just try to act normal,” he explained.

He mentioned an incident as a young All Black after a win over France, when the team’s former assistant coach, Wayne Smith, told him: “You should aim to be the best rugby player in the world”.

“All I wanted was to go home and just sleep.”

Although it should have been a huge event, Lienert-Brown said: “To be honest, all I wanted to do was go home and just sleep and forget about the rugby… I was confused.”

He revealed that his psychiatrist initially prescribed an antidepressant called Citalopram, which can be used to control anxiety, and his situation improved.

Lienert-Brown still takes the medication, albeit in a lower dose, which he uses as a ‘safety net’.

He has found ways to cope with his anxiety problems and has built a successful career as a rugby player.

Lienert-Brown said being a professional athlete has led him to prioritize his mental health over his physical health. He used ice baths, saunas and some meditation to control his anxiety.

“I don’t want to emphasize that medication is the only solution to mental health problems because it isn’t. It was the start of my journey to get better,” he added.

He is currently an ambassador for Mind Set Engage, a New Zealand Rugby initiative for mental wellbeing.

“When I got through the other side of my mental health struggles, I really wanted to share my experiences because listening to people talk about their struggles and the tools they used to get through them really helped me,” says Lienert- Brown.

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